I’m hard at work on the sequel to Eye of the Void, and there are so many things I want to include but don’t have room for.
Enjoy this taste of the Preternatural Apprehensions and Warnings facility, South Dakota.
The laundry room was about what I expected with the unexpected addition of a giant centaur folding sheets. Earl looked up at me for a moment before returning to his giant laundry bucket of clean linens. He set a now neatly folded sheet on a stack of other sheets and pulled another from the bin.
“Hey, Earl, mind if I do a load?” I said, hoping like hell the centaur I’d met my first day was the only centaur at PAW. From the brief look of surprise followed by a small smile, I presumed I was correct.
“Whites in the hamper on the right, darks in the left,” he explained, “I don’t do delicates so you’re out of luck there.”
“Oh, ok.”
I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with my new-to-me clothing being put into a communal laundry pile. How would I know I got everything back? These clothes were replacements for the ones Adrian destroyed, but Adrian replacthemian. I didn’t pick them. I hardly knew the clothes, but they were mine.
“Would it be ok if I did my own?” I asked.
Earl looked up from his third sheet of our conversation, “Do you know how to run these machines?” “Are the machines magic?” I asked.
“Why would we waste magic to wash clothes when humans have designed machines that can do the work?” he asked. His front hoof stomped on the ground, and his tail flicked out.
“Fair enough.” I hefted my bag of laundry to an open washer Earl pointed out. I dumped the whole bag into the industrial-sized machine, poured an approximately correct amount of detergent and started the machine on the fastest setting.
“You risk color bleeding,” Earl said, “Don’t they teach you anything in human schools?”
I laughed, “Not really. What about you, what do they teach in centaur schools?”
Earl’s face darkened, “There are no centaur schools.”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know,” I said. I stood across the counter from Earl and pulled out a clean sheet from his bin and started folding. My folds weren’t as neat as Earl’s were, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“You’re the void,” it wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway. “With the shifter mate?” Earl continued.
“And you’re a centaur,” I replied, avoiding the mate question, “And this is a fitted sheet.”
“A fitted sheet you’re folding wrong,” he said, ripping the fabric from my hands with a bit more force than necessary. He effortlessly spun the fabric around tucking and folding the corners until it was a perfectly square folded sheet.
“Magic,” I muttered, it had to be. Anytime I tried to fold a fitted sheet, I ended up with a ball of cloth and elastic.
Earl snorted, “I’m not magic, you’re just inept.”
“Well, I have-” I glanced over at the washing machine which was still hissing with water filling the drum, “Quite a while until my laundry’s done, why don’t you teach me your ways, Oh Earl, the Centaur King of Fitted Sheets.”
He raised his eyebrow at me, “Who told you I was the Centaur King?”
Well, shit apparently sarcasm wasn’t something centaurs recognized, “No one had to tell me, it’s obvious,” I lied, “Even a void can see the kingly way you carry yourself.” Earl’s shoulders straightened and his lips twitched like he was trying to hide a smile, “Right, well, let it never be heard that I turn down a subject coming for guidance.”
Maybe I went too far with the flattery. But it worked, for the remainder of the wash cycle and the entire dry cycle, Centaur King Earl taught me how to fold a fitted sheet.
“If Large Marge could see me now, she’d make me do the Motel California Street’s laundry forever,” I chuckled to myself as I almost-perfectly folded another sheet.
“Large... Marge?” Earl mused to himself rolling the name over his tongue, “Tell me about this creature.”
“She’s not really a creature... that I know of,” I amended, “She and her husband, Tiny Mikey owned the motel I lived in before it exploded.”
Earl nodded sagely, “When I am released and can once again continue my search for a Centaur Queen, I shall consider it, there are few large enough to handle a true King.”
I didn’t doubt that one bit. Earl was more horse than man by my estimation. His human torso began at the same height as my shoulders.
“And we have completed my linen duties for the day,” Earl said after he refolded my final sheet. He patted now empty unfolded laundry cart and pointed to the opposite side of the room. Able to read his hints, I wheeled it into the taped off square and the laundry room was back in order.
“I will have your clean laundry brought to your quarters when it is complete,” Earl told me.
“Oh, thanks, you don’t have to do that, I can-”
“Nonsense,” Earl said with an exaggerated sweep of his arm, “Earl, Centaur King of the Fitted Sheets will grant you, Iris Engels, void mate of the shifter, this favor as a token of my favor.”
“Um, thank you, King Earl,” I said, his expression brokered no argument, and I wasn’t looking forward to hauling the laundry back up the hill anyway, “That is a very generous -erm token. I will uh cherish it forever and tell tales of your generosity across the bleach and softener kingdoms.”
He nodded sagely, “Come, let us dine, I’ve been promised a barrel of fresh-cut oats for the evening meal today. I’ll gladly share some with you.”
“That’s ok, I’m really more of a ramen noodle gal,” I said.
“Nonsense,” Earl patted me on the shoulder, causing me to stumble forward, “You shall eat at my table.”
“Oh, I’m honored by the invite but-”
“Iris!” a familiar voice cut across the hallway.
“I had a previous commitment,” I said, “Unless the mimic Tips Townsend is welcome at your honored table.”
Earl looked down the hall where my disheveled friend jumped up and down calling my name, “Another time, Iris void mate of shifter.”
“It’s been an honor, King Earl,” I said, before rushing over to Tips.
“What were you doing talking to the centaur?” Tips asked. His eerie blue eyes widened, “Is he a suspect. You know I always thought he was suspicious. No normal man is that into detergent.”
“I was doing laundry, Earl taught me to fold sheets,” I said, turning back to give the odd centaur another wave, “He’s... interesting.”